Thread: Farm Diaries

"There are three easy ways oflosing money - racing is the quickest, women the most pleasant, andfarming the most certain." So said Field Marshal JefferyAmherst, the British soldier in famously associated with dishing outsmallpox-ridden blankets to native Canadians.

We mention himat the beginning of this review for two reasons. The first is that hewas slam on about farming being a waste of wonga, most potently withregards to the pile of steaming manure that is Farm Diaries.



Andthe 2^nd is that about of smallpox might merely bepreferable to any amount of time spent playing this broken Farm Villewanna be game. Depending on beginning Farm Diaries, you'll be facedon a quick and news less tutorial entertained by your Barry tutor,the cowboy hat-wearing Rainbow.

She'll walk you via thegeneral premise of the game, to sow, fertilize, harvest crops, andraise various animals in order to buy more varieties of said farminggoods. She's pretty obscure about more vital elements, however - suchas the control system.

You sail your initial 4x3 grid patchesof fertile land via a pointer, which you can shift around with the'2', '4', '6' and '8' keys, with '5' choosing your highlightedaction. This could be planting seeds, wedding, or quenching yourplants thirst with H2O. That might sound simple plenty of, but therange of menus is authoritarian, with icons drew up to the left andbottom of the display.

It's a mess of a system, and demands asure degree of forbearance to fully acquire to do act of gaspingwith. A press of the '0' key will hit you over to your animal ranchand off from the main farm, but things don't acquire muchbetter.

Attempting to isolate the individual pixel requirementto highlight your tiny, bobbing chickens - and thereby feed them - isa practice that's apparently designed to vex. On the bright slope,the color scheme is jaunty and the limited animations are bright andplayful, though the horrendous music will drive you to search out forthe 'mute' choice fairly rapidly.

Throw in a couple of bugs,such as getting trapped indefinitely in an empty postbox menu, andyou've acquired a sure-fire way to turn out the late Lord Amherstright. Farm Diaries tried to tap into the same sense of achievementthat Farm Ville and its several clones offer, but it deficienciesthose titles' social features. More potent, though, it's not fun toplay at any point, being a total chore from start to finish.